Test of Faith

Seems like all we have been talking about is how I quit my job. And here is more of the story!

This may sound lame, but we think it is the truth. I have never felt satan working so hard on us, as those 2 weeks between the time I submitted my 2 week notice, until my last day of work.

But first I have to explain a little, if someone had told me 1 year ago that I would quit my job and be a 'stay at home mom' I would have told them they were crazy. I love to work! I have always thought a woman should have some means to provide for herself, I thought that it was a cop out to be a 'stay at home mom'. I am a person that needs to be 'contributing' financially, anyway, the list goes on and on. So, when we got our answer that it was necessary for me to quit to further our adoption process - I would have to say I seriously doubted that and pleaded and thought of a million reasons to keep working, but if the lord is going to bless us with a child, we need to be obedient. So, we are trying to be obedient.

Also, I can remember 2 things back in the beginning of the adoption process.

1 - Our case worker telling us that to increase our chances I would need to quit my job.

Of course when she said that, I was quite offended.

But I get it now. If I was a birthmom, I think I would prefer to place my child with someone who was a stay at home mom.

2 - In our education classes something that stood out was of course the birth mom panel. One of them talked about how they were told over and over again in many various ways that she can do hard things.

I personally think placing a baby is above all - the hardest thing to do - but that it is sometimes necessary to make us better people, and for some reason we don't know we agreed to do that back before we were on the earth.

Bottom line - birthparents are the most incredible people I have ever met.

I continue to meet some, that I never knew about in my personal life and I just hug them and want to bow at their feet, but instead I just hug and pray for them. Seriously amazing people.

But back to the test of faith...

Here are a few of the big tests that came up in a 14 day period.

1 - Day 1: This goes without being said, but me quitting my job was incredibly hard for me. (previously discussed above).

2 - Day 4: Josh gets suspended from his job. Keep in mind, Josh has worked there for 7 years and had a perfect record. Lots could go wrong in his line of duty and there are lots of safety precautions they have to take. So, anyway his supervisor had to go by policy and suspend him without pay for 1 day and do an investigation.

3 - Day 4: I have my last team meeting where I meet with all my closest co-workers and I have to say good-bye. I feel like I am ditching them, and I feel bad.

4 - Day 5: I go to the dr, and have a follow up to a previous appointment for a general check up. In this previous check up they took and tested my blood. The dr had me back in to discuss the results....Keep in mind, when I had my job, I had regular checkups, there was a few things here and there but never any hospitalizations, or surgeries, or really anything that would cause alarm. So in this dr appointment on day 5 he tells me that the blood work came back and it looks like I am a diabetic, and that I need to have my para thyroid removed.

WHAT!? In my favorite words - WTF!

This is not part of the deal! I just quit, and we can't have this happen now!

So the dr has me go down and get another blood test to confirm what he thinks and then we will go from there. So now I am totally freaking out - feels like we might have just made a mistake with all these things going on.

5 - Day 7: We are in church and someone was talking and they said "When you feel anxiety about a decision, you have to push through and have faith especially if you know it is an answer to your prayer." Josh and I both looked at each other and read each others mind.

6 - Day 10: Several extra expenses came up.

7 - Day 12: I set on the scale and have magically lost 16 pounds over the previous 12 days. This doesn't every happen. I can work my butt off and still my body hangs onto every pound.

So there is the list of the major things that went down...all in less that 2 weeks.

And it was further proof to Josh and I that we had made the right decision, but why else would be having so many problems come up? So, for us we found great comfort in those and we started having the attitude of bring it on! We can do this, we can do hard things especially if it brings us closer to finding our birthparents and doing hard things.

to be continued.... (all the positive things that came out of the tests)

love, josh and mel